Waa maxay wanaagsanaanta, iyo haddii aad rabto in aad isaga la dirirtaan?

"Hoogay, waxa Naciimo - ay ogaadaan inaan anigu ahay kaamil ah, waan ogahay inaan anigu ahay horyaal ah" - xusuusan? Laakiin haddii aad leedahay nanny weyn Mary Poppins waxaa keena ugu faraxsan, in badan oo ka heli dareento isku wixii wanaagsanaanta naftaada on, ma aan ogayn sida loo raaxaysan. Guud ahaan, tani waxay ifafaale loo qeexi karaa doonaya in ay gaaraan an macquul ahayn, dalabaadka ay aad u sarayso isu on, taas oo haddii ay dhacdo of failure waxay keeni kartaa in hoos u dhac in isku kalsooni. Nafsiga, isku dayaya in ay ka jawaabaan su'aasha ah waxa wanaagsanaanta, inta badan waxa ay u arkaan a factor guusha muhiimka ah, taas oo inta badan waa, si kastaba ha ahaatee, waxay keentaa in cidhiidhi dareenka iyo burburka dareemayaasha.

Cabista door muhiim ah. Perfectionists ugu horrayn waa reer waalidka isla dadaalaya kaamil ah. Intaa waxaa dheer, kuwa aan jacayl ka soo waalidkood heli shuruud la'aan, in ay si joogto ah u qalmaa.

waxay doonayaan in ay ugu fiican ee wax kasta oo aad samayn, keeni qanacsanayn joogto ah ula natiijada. Perfectionists ay qaataan ka carruurnimada in ay la qiimeeyaa oo kaliya ku salaysan wixii ay soo gaadhay. aaminsan Tani waxay keenaysaa in search a joogto ah si loo ansixiyo kuwa kale oo macneheedu yahay gool adag-to-gaaro. Waxay isku kalsooni kama iman gudahood. Sidaas darteed, waxay yihiin kuwo aad u nugul in nooc kasta oo naqdiyay, sababtoo ah waxay doonayaan in ay, ugu horreeya oo dhan, in la jecel yahay iyo aqbalay.

Sidaas daraaddeed, waa maxay wanaagsanaanta? In fudud, nooc ka mid heer hoose u muuqataa, hantida uu leeyahay ilmaha si loogu dadaalo in ay noqon "ugu quruxda badan, cusub, ugu adag" wax si isku fasalka masayr ah. Iyo, hoogtay, sidoo kale marar badan, hawadooda kuwan waxaa u shidan yihiin waalidkood. Dalku qoto dheer, guri shakhsiga sida horumaraa u jecel yihiin inay noqdaan kuwa ugu horeeya ee wax walba, ugu fiican.

Later, jawaabta su'aashan ee waxa wanaagsanaanta, waa on baaris ah inay haleelaan immensity ah, tusaale ahaan, waxay noqon a "hooyo kaamil ah", taas oo uu si guul leh samaynta xirfado iyo waqti isku mid ah daryeela carruurta iyo ninkeeda, uu jiidayo on qoyska oo dhan. Foomamka dabagalka hadafyada noqon karaa mid aad u kala duwan: ka jecel yihiin in la raaco on gaariga steepest shisheeye in ay dagaalka ka daalin horyaalka "ayuu tababaraha ugu fiican" iyo wixii la mid ah.

Perfectionists yihiin kuwo aad u culus oo ay carruurtooda iyo la-hawlgalayaasheeda. Astaamahani waa iyaga dabeecad adag tahay in abuurista xidhiidh habboonaanta dhigi. Sidee in laga takhaluso waxaa ka mid ah? Waxaa laga yaabaa in mid ka mid ma aha wacyi ku filan dhibaatada yeelan doonaan in ay door biday in ay gargaar ka therapist a. Si loo go'aamiyo darnaanta ee xaaladda ah, iyadoo la isticmaalayo baaritaano gaar ah, sida "qiyaasta multi-cabbir ah wanaagsanaanta." Sida laga soo xigtay habkan tilmaamaysaa heerka walaaca, welwelka, ka aaminsan tahay dhaleeceyn, shaki marka go'aan.

Cilad: wanaagsanaanta. Sidee in laga takhaluso xaaladan?

Marka hore, isku day in aad u dhigay gool sida ay baahidaada, ka fikir waxa aad rabto, hana raacina waxa ay dadka kale ka filan oo idinka mid ah.

Marka labaad, ku rid bartilmaameedka labaad oo kaliya ka dib markii mid ka mid ah la soo dhaafay. Habka of tallaabooyin yaryar in ay dhacdo dab.

Saddexaad, isku day in aad hoos u calankooda: halkii isagoo si ay shaqo this sameeyo 100%, isku day in aad wax ka qaban waayo 80 ama xitaa 70%. Tani waxay kaa caawin doonaan inaad fahamto waxa ka xun toogasho hawsha macnaheedu ma dhamaadka dunida oo waxba uma dhimeyso xaaladaada indhaha dadka kale ee. Focus on the "halkan iyo hadda", ma ka hor nafteena u hesho.